Racing

Sometimes I get so scared.

I try to run from my problems, I try to distance myself from them, but always I end up like a mouse on a wheel.  I run and I run and I run but they never leave, they never go away.  That darkness, that shapeless nightmare, it's always right on my heels, waiting for me to stop so it can swoop down and overtake me.  The moment I pause to catch my breath it's there, wrapping it's sheathing cloak around me.  I try to fight but it's too strong, I try to move but it's too late.  It suffocates me when I'm screaming for air, it binds me when I'm thrashing to be free.  It's always there, it's always there, never changing, never ceasing.

And so I don't stop.  I can't stop.  I run and I run and I run until my heart gives out, until my mind shuts off, until there's nothing left but oblivion.  I have no destination, I have no grand purpose, I have only the moment, the hour, the day after day.  The ground under my feet that passes so fleetingly away.  Never stop lest I break, never think lest I feel.  Never feel lest I hurt, and the hurt I can't bear.

Where is the end?